Pleasure or Pressure?

It’s okay if your dog does not get along with other dogs!  Let me say that again, it’s okay if your dog doesn’t get along with other dogs!  For some reason, everyone has come to believe that their dog must be social and NEEDS to spend time with other dogs.  This simply is not true and this belief has put our dogs into situations that they feel uncomfortable with and subsequently, enormous pressure, too. This can ultimately lead our dogs to respond aggressively to other dogs to protect themselves.

When I was a kid, we had one dog.  We didn’t take her anywhere but to our cabin on the lake where she fished for minnows that swam along the shore.  There were no other dogs for her to play with.  She came with us in the car everywhere or in the boat when we went out on the lake.  She slept on the floor next to my bed and waited for me by the front door when I came home from school. Just how did she know what time it was?  Susie bonded with my family instead of other dogs, and we were bonded with her.  She didn’t go to play dates with other dogs. We didn’t even know what day care or dog parks were. She lived a lovely life of 16 years and we adored her endlessly.  Dogs can live completely enriched lives without other dogs.

I hear over and over, “I really want my dog to get along with any dog we meet on the trail” or some other place.  So many times we pressure our dogs into being social even if they may not be by nature. Yes, there are some dogs that thrive on playing with other dogs.  But, many, MANY times, dogs are not comfortable with other dogs and we miss their signals telling us they are uncomfortable until finally, one day, they can’t take it anymore and start a fight.  We are stunned. And hurt and totally confused.

Dogs are in some ways like people.  Some of us thrive on large parties and gatherings, or love big families.  Others like to live alone and only go out when necessary. Dogs are the same way. And, dogs will get along with some dogs, but not others, just like we get along with some folks, but not others. Many times, dogs are not genetically capable of such social behavior.  It’s just who that dog is.

What is important is that we realize that if our dog is uncomfortable, we should not force those interactions and instead focus on the bond our dog has with us.  Doing enriching games at home, even doing obedience training with your dog for fun, will truly help you to bond closer with your dog.  

The short of this is, be sensitive to what your dog is telling you.  Respecting who your dog is can make a huge difference in the quality of your relationship together.

Caption:  My Isabella is not a social dog. She likes her own pack, much like a wolf, but other dogs make her incredibly nervous and afraid.  So, I don’t intentionally put her in those situations.