Do’s and Don’ts of Owning a Fearful dog
Our hearts go out to the dog that is shy or even fearful about life. We are drawn to the dog in the back of the kennel at the shelter that appears to have had a rough life and is afraid to even come visit you. We instinctually want to nurture this dog back to a happy dog. Or we are drawn to the puppy that crawls into your lap seeking shelter from the other puppies. As humans, we have big hearts and want nothing more than to help!
What is hard for us with healing hearts to fathom is that studies are now showing that temperament is mostly genetic. So, when we see the fearful dog, in the past we assume this little guy has been through some trauma of abuse. But, the reality is that most dogs with solid temperaments can be horribly abused and still come out with happy tails.
The key evaluation for any dog that displays fearful behavior is recovery. How fast can a dog recover from a scary event? Within minutes? Hours? Days? Months? The longer the recovery time the more likely the fear cannot be conquered.
There are other factors as well. How we treat our fearful dog is paramount. If we nurture dependence and coddle the fear, our dog will more than likely sink into deeper fear. Dogs are literalists. If you pet the fear, this dog WILL see that as reward for that behavior. The DANGEROUS part is that a fearful dog that is dependent upon his owner is more likely to become possessive of his owner. With possessiveness comes aggression. Even a fearful dog that initially retreats when afraid, may very likely start using his natural instincts to guard what he thinks is his.
When you consider taking a fearful dog into your life, one of the biggest questions you should ask yourself is, “Am I a natural leader? Or am I a softie?” If you are a softie, then you must then ask yourself, “Am I willing to learn how to be a leader?”
Leadership or providing guidance and boundaries is the only way that a fearful dog can learn to cope with fearful situations. As an example, a good leader will give their fearful dog a job to do in the face of that fearful situation. Instead of coddling him, and petting him telling him it’s alright, and good leader will refocus the dog and tell him what he SHOULD be doing. This helps the dog to trust in his owner and release some of his fear because he knows he is safe.
A leader acts like a leader all day. Treating a fearful dog like a baby or a human is truly a death sentence for this dog. Controlling food, sleeping space, resources and possessions, height, and yes, even affection is a must to help a fearful dog to become self confident. I did not say control love!
It is a ballet to be compassionate, loving, and yet directive and firm in boundaries. If you have a fearful or shy dog in your life, to truly help him cope, leadership is the kindest and most humane thing you can do for your dog.
Caption: Abused and fearful dogs can recover with SLOW, patient and loving guidance, not coddling. Here, one of the dogs I rescued, Hattie, learned how to heel using a touch stick which helped her to build confidence and overcome her fears.