Can I Love My Dog Too Much?

The media is doing an excellent job of making “Loving Our Dog Too Much” a completely acceptable and desirable behavior.  Just yesterday, I saw an advertisement for a dog harness that had a denim dress as the top part of the harness.  Cute you think?  Maybe.  To me, this is the epitome of loving our dog too much and turning them into our “children.”  Dogs are not people. They are an extraordinary species to adore for who they are including the fact that dogs do not feel the same way we do or experience life as we do.  It is an honor to have them in our homes and enjoy them for their differences.  It is not honoring them to turn them into furry humans.

All the pet product websites refer to dog owners as Pet Parents.  While “parenting” a dog in some regard may be descriptive of owning a dog, the idea that a dog is a child is, frankly, not healthy for the dog.  A good parent provides boundaries and direction, while providing a trusting and loving environment.  Parents have experienced many of the destructive things in life and will guide their children away from them. However, the term Pet Parent insinuates that we treat our dog just like humans, yet it encourages us to let our dogs do whatever they want, sleep on the furniture, tell us when to feed them or when they want a treat and how many treats they want.  We indulge them selflessly without understanding that the indulgence is harmful to them just like it is for spoiled children.  

When we honor our dogs for what they are, we strive to understand what makes them happy.  Happiness for a dog does not come from endless freedom.  In fact, it comes from knowing what the boundaries are.  

Building trust with the dog is essential for their happiness.  If you are a figure in their life that they know will protect them, and what the rules are, they are so much more peaceful.  Dogs that don’t trust you to be their leader usually express themselves with anxiety such as separation anxiety, demanding attention and affection, excessive barking, aggression, excessive jumping on people which literally is a dog saying, “TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!”  What we may interpret as high energy is many times a form of anxiety.  Is anxiety what we want for our dogs?

Being a leader to a dog can be difficult because many of us derive personal pleasure from pushy dogs that demand our attention.  We find some pleasure in knowing they want to be with us every moment such as crying at the door to go with us when we leave. We feel loved by them if they are touching or sitting on us all the time.  Indeed, sometimes this is real affection.  However, sometimes it is a cry for discipline and leadership. 

If we can realize that building trust with a dog comes from being a leader and giving loving guidance, and setting rules, then our dogs will truly be happy.  Sometimes, we have to ask ourselves, “Whose needs are we meeting when we nurture dependence not independence?” or more simply put, when we spoil our dog?

Caption:  I am so mean to my dogs, I make them sleep in beds too small for them!