Dog Relationships Take Time

How simple life would be if our dog would just like every dog and person they meet!  But, the reality is that just like people, most dogs need to learn to trust each other.  Once in a while, there is a dog out there that just loves everyone and every dog immediately.  But, the fact is more dogs need to have time to learn to trust other dogs, and people too!

Somewhere along the line, we have begun to believe that every dog must be outgoing and social, and that they need to play with other dogs.  But, each and every dog is different.  Many dogs will make friendships with other dogs, but chances are they need to have slow, unpressured meetings with another dog until they can build a trust.  Just like people, we need time to get to know people before we share our feelings or even personal information.  

Dogs need to feel safe during that time they are getting to know another dog. They need to feel like they know you will protect them from harm or even attack from another dog through our leadership, just like a child trusts you as a parent to keep them safe.  

A dog that has been attacked by another dog may need even longer to develop trust for a new potential dog friend.  And sometimes dogs that have been previously attacked may find it almost impossible to make new dog friends at all.  Forcing a dog into social situations that is already sensitive into interactions with other dogs in the name of “socialization” usually won’t solve the problem.  

When we send a dog off to social events, we expect them to immediately wag their tails and enjoy the fun!  And, honestly, this is OUR human need, not the reality of most dogs.  As humans, when our dogs get along with all dogs and all people, our responsibility for the emotional safety of our dog lessens. We can then talk on the phone or text. We can chat for with someone we meet in the trail and never give a second thought about what our dog is doing because we believe they are engrossed in eager play.

The problem arises when we don’t see the signals that our dogs give us telling us that this is really uncomfortable for them. We miss the whale eye, or the slight lip curl. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, a brawl happens, and we don’t understand WHY that happened, when all along, the dog was telling us, “PLEASE!  Get me out of here!  I am not comfortable!” Instead of taking the time to read the dog’s only language, we are oblivious to their needs and then we are surprised when the dog reacts with a fearful and aggressive response. 

They key is to understand that dogs need TIME to trust other dogs to build relationships.  We also need to learn to see the signs that our dog is uncomfortable and respond accordingly letting them know they are safe and we will protect them through our kind leadership.

Learning dog language and leadership is a gift you can give to your dog.  Dog language is not always as it would appear to us humans.  Having patience to allow for gradual and controlled interactions can be the kindest socialization you can provide!

Caption:  Peaceful Packs don’t come easy…or quick!